it's all
about the kink
illwill press

October 22nd, 2015 at 9:20pm
Hi! Thanks for writing for me. My Things I Like lists tend to be pretty long but I hope they're not obnoxiously so. Rifle through and pluck out the bits that sound interesting :)

In general: I'd rather have an in character conversation than an unoffensive conversation. This probably goes mostly for It's Always Sunny, but I mean it for any of the fandoms. Misogyny, racism, homophobia- if the characters would say it, write it.

One of my fandoms includes a lot of drug use, and the others could easily have it written in. Please, for the love of the Powers That Be, if you're writing them doing ___, write it accurately. Nothing kills a fic faster for me than a fic where someone takes E and gets really mad, or snorts coke and gets sleepy. If you haven't done anything in your past, a great resource is There are about a thousand drugs listed, all with both scientific information and write-in trip reports.

I see life through very queer glasses. I automatically go to poly, then two-person-slash, then gen, then het. I'd really rather a genfic than a focus on paired heterosexual romance. And if you do write a slash or poly fic, I'm down with any rating. From essentially gen where they call each other boyfriend but don't even hold hands to 1k of fucking, I'm good. And if you do aim for a higher rating, I quite like nearly any kink. Some of my favourites are makeshift bondage (like ties or clothes pushed half off to restrict movement) public teasing into being turned on, making people blush, dirty talk, marks of ownership (not necessarily hardcore like collaring, though that's great, having a bracelet to wear or a string of hickies work too). But really, if you wanted to go for any kink I'd be happy. My only limit is no guro/vore.

Note: massages are a trigger of mine. It's really upsetting to read them. I'm okay with dub-con (whether due to manipulation or intoxication), but straight up non-con is not enjoyable. I also have phobias of fire/burning alive, stuff happening to eyeballs, and condiments, but I can't see why any of those would come up anyway.

More specifically:

It’s Always Sunny: My favourite character is Mac. I’m fascinated by the Mac/Dennis dynamic and how Dennis’ sociopathy plays with Mac’s insecurity. I'd say they have a D/s dynamic, except for the consent thing, which is pretty important to standard D/s. I ship them quite strongly, but if you're not shippy, the canonical interactions are queer enough to get me by :) For this fandom I'd like canon based, or futurefic. I'd be delighted if you could figure out a way to make Mac come out. Maybe threesomes are okay, the woman cancels out the man? Or hit it from a religious angle, the new pope being the least homophobic pope the church has ever had? Maybe Charlie writes an even gayer musical and it breaks Mac's closet-willpower? Another idea, I think it’d be hilarious for Mac to get a boyfriend behind the Gang’s back, and how Dennis would lose his mind with jealousy when he finds out. How is he supposed to control Mac if Mac has another man?! Oh, and I headcanon Charlie as asexual, so I can see him being confused but vaguely supportive.

Haven: Gen is fine, if you’re not shippy. Casefic set anywhere in canon would be interesting, when Audrey is still immune or when Duke has to use his Crocker-power to save the day. Interesting Troubles are what makes the show, after all. But if you ARE shippy, I really strongly ot3 Audrey/Duke/Nathan, especially in the first four seasons when Nathan can still feel Audrey. I haven’t seen 5b yet, so please no spoilers from those episodes.

Macdonald Hall:
I ship Bruno/Boots and Bruno/Boots/Cathy/Diane. I really would not be interested in one male/one female. (I didn't request all four chars as to not demand poly from you, but if you're feeling it, please do!) Again, it comes down to the D/s dynamic. Even if it isn't sexual, I love how Bruno can talk anyone into doing anything, even though they're always initially reluctant. The same goes for Cathy. With Macdonald Hall I enjoy the stuff that comes up in all the books; crazy plans, Fish knowing all, Scrimmage and her shotgun, that thing Korman does where there's a large group of people talking and they all have one line and no one gets named. The phrase "sanctity of Macdonald Hall". I like the fact that the secondary characters are one dimensional- Elmer should always be smart, Sidney should always hurt himself, Wilbur should always eat. I would enjoy canonical, futurefic, or AU fic for this fandom. Cathy is secretly a werewolf? Macdonald Hall is a elite school/shelter in a barren wasteland, and the teachers despair because Sidney is one of their best hopes for mankind? Macdonald Hall is full of Light Court Faeries, and York Academy is for Dark Court Faeries, and Bruno freaks out when his unaffiliated friend Boots' dad begins to be swayed by the Dark Court? I love all kinds of urban fantasy, sci fi, and dystopias.

Bugs Potter:
The best part of this duology is just how passionately Bugs cares about music. I believe that no matter what goes down in his life, he'll never stop playing and listening. This could be set in either book. Or maybe it's post apocalyptic, and Bugs wrangles enough survivors to start his own band. Or maybe it's post series, and Bugs has dropped everything in life to go be an Endomorph groupie, and it's Bugs/5 musicians. As long as there's music, I don't care. I ship Bugs/Adam, I wrote a manifesto for them for kink_bingo 2012, but I'd be fine with Bugs/Gus or Bugs/Roger, or maybe the whole Nickaninny band!
take a bite of my apple?

April 28th, 2014 at 1:46am
Doing a meme so I can think about something else than what I'm stressing about for five minutes. Because uuugh. My brain won't stop.

Top Ten Fics By Kudos:

1)We Might As Well Close Our Eyes- Kurt accidentally finds out he's a sub, Puck accidentally finds out he's a dom, and they're both into Finn, who has tons and TONS of gay panic.
2) Until- Darcy's bi and falls for Jane. Jane falls back because Thor's not there. And then Thor comes back. But it's cool because on Asgard poly relationships are the norm.
3) When All These Stars Hit Ground (They'll wake us)- Puck comes out, has summer friends-with-benefits with Kurt before realising he's in love.
4) Job Description- Avengers mental health ward AU.
5) I'm a Poor Man Walking Down The Road- Magneto's poor and a mutant, Charles is rich and a mutant. The class difference matters a lot. Also takes place in space.
6) He Wants It All- Jake wants to do some Not-Gay fooling around, and Ryder conveniently forgets to mention he's pansexual.
7) Hackable Hearts- Penelope Garcia and her BAU team doesn't appreciate this asshole bureaucrat Coulson. Tony's not sure who's trying to hack him, but he ~likes~ it. Also there is ot6.
8) Selected Excerpts from Tony's LJ- Tony has opinions about fandoms. Also it's pre-ot6.
9) Admiration, Imitation- Ryder and Jake think Blaine and Sam are awesome.
10) We're Here, We're Queer, You Should Have Already Known- No one cares that Boots and Bruno are dating, but somehow there are shotguns and committees and late night riots anyway.

-yes, four of those titles are lyrics. I blame Ryan Ross.
-my first bandom fic is number 18. It's Let's All Call In Queer To Work, with basically every bandom band in a super homophobic dystopian AU.
-if you switch to hits, We Might As Well Close Our Eyes, He Wants It All, Until and Job Description are top 4, and then the rest is oooooold Buffy fic. Weird.
-fics with poly--4
-fics with friends with benefits--5
-fics where friends end up in relationships--8. Possibly 9, if you consider Erik/Charles friends. And one is genfic, so.

(do I have my favourite tropes? Yes I do)
take a bite of my apple?

April 1st, 2014 at 4:02am
I had this great dream where Travvie, Gabe, and Pete all wrote a book together about adventuring questing magical Harry Potteresque kids. More specifically, it was three novellas, of the kids doing different things (like PS vs COS vs POA) each written by one of them individually, published in one big tome.

And then if you bought the special more expensive edition of the book, after the three novellas and the afterword there were three short stories, set from the parent POV of one of the MC's parents. And that's when the 'leftist' bomb was dropped.

MC A's mom is single and asexual, and A was a mistake borne out of the only time mom had sex, but she can't regret her happening, even if she worries that when A gets older one of these close friends will become a relationship she can't give advice about. MC B's mom is a widowed lesbian who HATES that B is going off on these adventures because she can't stand the idea that her only loved one left might die. MC C's gay dad is single and always has been, and adopted C anyway, because you don't need to have a soul mate to love in other ways, and he's so proud of C and how loyal C is to her friends.

I can't remember who wrote MC A and MC B, but I know that Travvie wrote single gay dad POV. And I remember that mainstream media made a big deal about how in the three novellas ABC seemed to have "normal" relationships with their parents in the few sentences of dialogue that included parents, when how could they ~really~ with such odd rolemodels? And Pete and Gabe and Travvie were like WHATEVER WHATEVER TALK TO THE HAND and Pete didn't even do interviews without Patrick there, because Patrick had helped him edit his novella into coherency.

(I woke up kinda cranky, because I realised the book didn't exist. And I would read it SO FUCKING MUCH. Harry Potter with proudly in-text queer characters? I'm getting a literature-boner as we speak)
take a bite of my apple?

March 11th, 2014 at 12:34am

Every one I've read with a reluctant partner always ends with them growing to realise that the dom/soulmate/alpha/whoever is right for them. I just want one that's like NOPE. SOOPER SIRIUSLY NO. NOOOPE and stays that way.

I'm oddly attracted to bonding AUs, regardless of the specific trope that it's built on- born with a name birthmark, or ABO, or imprinting (or various less common variants). And some of them get together instantly, and that's great. But then you get the ones where the one partner is reluctant. And they ALWAYS end up as a couple in the end. Always. I don't mind that generally, but I would looove to read one where the reluctance stays.

Like the one I'm reading right now, Tony's got Clint pinned (they're wrestling), and Clint realises that Tony is sniffing at him. And even though Clint's been reluctant up until now, at this point he's not really pushing him away. Meanwhile I'm like JAB YOUR THUMB IN HIS EYE. HE WON'T WANT TO MATE YOU WHEN HE'S BORROWING EYE PATCHES FROM FURY.

*is contrary as fuck*
1 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

March 9th, 2014 at 5:03am
I love that moment of "...wait. you're fannish, aren't you?" Where it feels like you are some sort of fannish detective searching the truth of people's souls.

I had a suspicion about someone I'm swapping crafts with, because they have a Potter Puppet Pals embroidered hoop pinned, and who even likes those except fandomers? So I poked around, and followed a link of a link, and eventually found a picture of her cosplaying at Alcatraz (a HP con in California) So I just sent her a message talking about the cons I've been to, and replied to her 'what's your hobby' question with fanfic!!!

In other news, Kesha/Fallout Boy mashup:
take a bite of my apple?

February 28th, 2014 at 1:57am
On the way home from therapy today, the bus had to drive a bit into the other lane, because there was a guy on a unicycle riding in the wrong direction towards us. I definitely had a moment of "I am supposed to be LESS crazy after therapy, not more!!!" before realising that I wasn't the only passenger watching a man unicycle through a -40, not-actually-snowing-but-so-windy-there-are-huge-drifts day.

Fuckin' humanity. I can't even, sometimes.
take a bite of my apple?

January 26th, 2014 at 5:29pm
So I've decided to attempt BBB this year. I've decided to continue a WIP I abandoned, mostly because most of my other BB ideas can be translated into other fandoms, but this one has to has to HAS TO be bandom.

I'm pretty happy right now, because after not writing for most of December and Jaunary, when I opened a Glee WIP to write more it was totally dead. Was. Not. Going. To. Happen. And I was freaking out that my writing-self is broken. But when I opened the BBB last night I was like I AM FEELING THIS SO HARD.

The one problem is I'm rotating POV's, because it helps me get through long-fic, and one of the characters doesn't really have an arch. All of his scenes are just big ___ in my notes, while the others have lots of things to do. I need to figure out another aspect of the universe I'm writing it that I can attach to him.

The other problem I'm having is that the sole female has kind of a controversial attitude. I really want her issue to be included in this 'verse, and I don't want to shame it, because there's a RL correlation and I wouldn't shame those people in RL. At the same time, her boyfriend is going to end up breaking up with her over it, and dating someone on the opposite side of the issue. So not only do I have to figure out how to write this respectfully/tactfully/allowing for multiple sides to be "right", I also have to figure out how to not fridge her.

....this summary is going to be so weird and I'm totally going to be the last person to get a mix. *sigh*
2 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

January 23rd, 2014 at 12:54am
So my case worker signed me up for a workshop. Or, well, they asked if I wanted to attend and I said yes, because I have to attend STEPs a certain number of times a month or they'll cut my funding.

But I just looked at what I'm actually going to, tomorrow afternoon...

Nourishing Mental Health.

Goddamn it, that better be metaphorically. She better not have signed me up for a nutrition course, just because I'm fat and look unhealthy. I mean, I won't walk out, because like I said, a certain number of attends a month. But I will be pissy as fuck if I have to sit through two hours of 'eating right will be good for your mental health'.

Because ACTUALLY, NO. Nothing is more stressful and upsetting than trying to explain the difference between my physical issues with food (if certain things touch my tongue I projectile vomit because my gag reflex is extremely sensitive) and my OCD issues with food (natural foods are dangerous because you don't know how they were grown, processed foods have quality control and thus are safe), and why the combination of both leaves me with a small safety net of foods. And how trying new ones is rarely worth the anxiety, because 9 times out of 10 I have to spit it out then brush my teeth and rub a cloth over my tongue.
6 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

December 10th, 2013 at 1:07am
Ten books that have influenced me, in no particular order

1) Callahan's Con- Spider Robinson. It's actually last in the Callahan series, but it had just come out when I first read it and then it became a frantic process to own all other books. Callahan's series made 12 year old me's opinions about prostitution change completely, and also introduced me to the concept of polyamory.

2) Harry Potter- thanks for giving me fandom, which is a good 70% of my enjoyment of life.

3) Slot Machine (and) Extreme Elvin- Chris Lynch. Read SM for the first time in 7th grade. These books basically set up my whole sense of humor. Over a decade later, with chapters memorised, they still make me laugh out loud in public places when I read them. PLUS HOLY FUCK BALLS THERE'S A 3rd THAT I NEVER KNEW ABOUT UNTIL A MONTH AGO BUT COCONUT_ICE22 BOUGHT IT FOR ME FOR XMAS.

4) Savages- Don Winslow. I love it for the poly, and I love it for the drug use, but most of all I love it for the style. I'm not generally one for literary works of art, and I still wince thinking of HP's litfic wank era. That being said, I love a book with STYLE. Clockwork Orange, Trainspotting, Pygmy, anything with it's own language really gets me. And Savages has that in spades.

5) NeverNever (and the rest of the Bordertown series)- Will Shetterly (and assorted). My first urban fantasy book as a kid. I lost track of the name/author, could only remember the cover and the concept. Then I found it again, and I love it as much I did at 10.

6) Yes Man- Danny Wallace. They made a movie based on it, but the book is far funnier. And by far I mean the first time I read it my dad got really angry at me and told me I had to read it when he wasn't home because I was laughing at every paragraph and I'd been reading for an hour and IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP I'LL MURDER YOU.

7) Archer's Goon- Diana Wynne Jones. I have never wished harder for anything to be a movie ever. It was the first book of her's I'd ever read, and thank god for that, because she's an entire shelf these days. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT TORQUIL, OKAY?

8) Mindhunter: Inside the FBI's Elite Serial Crime Unit- John E Douglas. When I was a little kid (like 5 and up) and I wanted to spend time with my dad after his nap but before dinner, I'd crawl into my parents bed and he'd read out chapters of the profiling and case study books he was reading. Since I met my girlfriend partially through our shared love of serial killers, I thank my dad for nurturing this interest.

9) Anything Macdonald Hall- Gordon Korman. Well DUH. It's only been my most read series since age 7. I only started signing up for Yuletide because there's a tiny MH fandom during Yuletide. Codependant BFFs, crazy schemes, and women that could put your ass through a blender without a electrical socket- what's not to love?

10) I don't know I can't think of a 10, but John Scalzi and Cory Doctorow are both great authors that are pro-fan culture, so there's that.
2 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

December 3rd, 2013 at 2:27am
My dad's called me an infidel at least fifteen times today. I don't think he's gonna stop any time soon. This is gonna get old.

Why, you ask. Well, because a few days ago the progressive conservative (Canada's republicans) leader of Manitoba released a Youtube video saying:

"I wanted to wish everyone a really, really Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah … all you infidel atheists out there, I want to wish you the very best also.I don't know what you celebrate during the holiday season. I, myself, celebrate the birth of Christ, but it's your choice, and I respect your choice. If you wish to celebrate nothing and just get together with friends, that's good too."

And he's getting suuuuuper slammed by all the liberals and NDPs. And by the general public too. Manitoba rings in at about 20 percent atheist according to the latest census, so he's poking at sort of a large minority.

Meanwhile my parents are very lightly catholic, in that they believe, but they weren't the ones that taught me to pray, we've never been to church once in my life, and they gave zero fucks when I first tried out pentecostal, and then went LOL NOPE THIS DOESN'T WORK TOTAL ATHEIST. And as soon as they found out about this they decided to call me an infidel. I'm not offended, I know they don't mean anything by it. I just gotta prepare myself to hear it like 40 trillion times before they move on to the next joke.
take a bite of my apple?

November 23rd, 2013 at 4:17am
So when I get new info I like to really In Depth it. In an unhealthy OCD "I must know everything or bad things will happen" way. At least with fandom people expect you to marathon tv or stay up until 6am reading HP the night it comes out. Informational info is sort of different though. When you know too much about random things like the kind of poisons that were used in the 1920's people think you're weird.

Today the problem was JFK. Thank you, half the channels on my television, you have made me completely mental tonight. I watched documentaries on what may or may not have happened at his death from 7pm to 4am. Otherwise known as 9 hours.

I feel so sketchy right now. There are so many theories, and while I think I know which one I believe most (Secret Service George Hickey accidentally did it/Mortal Error theory), I can't know for sure. No one can. And that's wrong in a way that feels really dangerous. Logic!gala knows it's not, but OCD!gala is freaking out. To the point where the last time I left my room to get a juice I was SURE someone was going to shoot me because ASSASSINS ARE EVERYWHERE NO ONE KNOWS WHO'S AN ASSASSIN. I don't really want to leave my room again, but I think I might need to get my dad. I think that might be best.
2 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

November 3rd, 2013 at 1:22am
So I decided fuck it, I'm going to catch up to Supernatural. (I watched season 1 and 2 on tv when it first aired, but it was against something better on s3 and then i just never DLed it)

I sort of want to watch it for itself, but lets be real, I also want to watch it because of fandom. I've read through a lot of smaller fandoms I love, and SPN is like HP, the fic production just NEVER STOPS. Also there are so many gifsets I don't currently understand.

My best female friend owns 1-4 on dvd. I just traded s2 for s3 the other day. I was talking to her about how it sucks that there are no real female characters, although I liked Jo in the few eps she was in. And Kay told me that it doesn't really get better, but at least in s3 there's a female char. ...but that fandom hates her.

I'm about a third into s3, the last ep I saw was one with a pirate ghost drowning people who had hurt their relatives. And there are TWO female characters. yay!

...if fandom hates Ruby, at this point I am sad. Maybe she'll be a worse demon later, but right now I quite like her. Why are you helping don't tell me I want to guess every time you come on screen. *chinhands*

...if fandom hates Bella fandom is right. I do too. Except I hate her for really Canadian, socialism reasons, and I'm not sure if that's why fandom hates her? She just seems like the ultimate capitalist, selling everything no matter how many people die from not having the book needed at the time. I'm the kind of person that LIKES paying taxes because I know they go to helping society, so, yeah, right now the demon character seems a whooooole lot less evil than the human character.

Also, coming from a Buffy background, SPN's vampires are faily and bad. I kind of want to skip the next ep, because the menu seems to be about vamps.

Also also, as a defense mechanism every time Dean says something anti-femme or homophobic I assume he's saying it because he's deeply closeted. (and I bet there are like ten billion fics that do the same.)

But 2.3 down, 6.7 plus however many 9 has had so far to go!
take a bite of my apple?

October 28th, 2013 at 11:30pm
So probably you've all already heard this, but My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark by the Vitamin String Quartet

Seeing as I've spent the whole afternoon listening to classical covers of Metallica and other fine metal bands, this was pretty great timing.
1 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

October 27th, 2013 at 12:57am
So apparently socials are a Manitoban thing? I figured everywhere would have them, but a bunch of people I've talked to have never heard of them.

Social: like two months before a wedding the couple throw a massive party at a legion or community centre and invite anyone they've ever blinked twice at. Tickets are 10 bucks, and then there's beer tickets, silent auction tickets and a bottle drop. And usually a good DJ, and rye bread sandwiches.

All the money goes towards having a good wedding with an open bar. Also that way at a wedding you can have a smaller invite list, of just family and besties, because all your b&c list acquaintances already went to the social.

I just got back from a Halloween themed one. Everyone were great sports, everyone was dressed. I am so tired I'm ready to pass out. The couple's song was country, which was painful, but there was a lot of classic 90's, and some good techno too. Couldn't stop thinking about how much more fun it would have been with Jasley there. A lot of people were coupled, I want my couple. Love you sweet thing [<3
2 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

October 20th, 2013 at 4:25am

Read more...Collapse )
2 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

October 19th, 2013 at 4:53pm
Some bandom recs for the virginity kink_bingo square. Alphabetical because I'm like that.

Read more...Collapse )
take a bite of my apple?

October 17th, 2013 at 8:05pm
For my dressup Kink_Bingo square, I made an ot6 set of Avengers bracelets.

First I cut the leather, then drove about ten holes per bracelet. I tried to do it evenly, but I'm pretty bad at eyeballing measurements, and I couldn't mark the leather because pencil doesn't erase on leather.

The next steps were dyeing them, then weaving suede through. It was a little hard making sure I got the right symbolic colours. For example, my leather store doesn't sell yellow suede, and metallic are COMPLETELY out of the question, and you can't dye things metallic either, so Thor ended up nothing like what I'd originally envisioned.

It took me a while to get around to making them, but I'm super happy I did. For the last few movies I've just worn my Ironman faceplate shirt. But now I have ot6 bracelets, and the next thing on the craft list is to stencil a shirt that says "Who Do You Ship?" so by the time CA2 and Guardians come around, I should have the perfect fan outfit.

Pics under the cut!
Read more...Collapse )
4 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

October 15th, 2013 at 4:25am
Highlights of this gangbang fic:

-it's over 3k and no one has taken their underwear off yet.

-it's at least 85% dialogue.

-this fandom has a grand total of 58 fics, and almost all of them are main chars slash. Like to the point that some of these fics aren't tagged with a pairing because there's only that pairing in this fandom. There is ONE threesome, and I wrote it. A ninesome is sort of a large step up.

In conclusion: what am I even doing?
2 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

October 13th, 2013 at 4:30pm
Dear Yuletide Author:

Read more...Collapse )
2 has perishedhave perished take a bite of my apple?

October 12th, 2013 at 1:11am


LIKE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 12 years later and every page still makes me laugh. Those two books were responsible for my entire sense of humor developing.


i don't even know what to do with myself right now.
i honestly screamed. i woke up my parents.
my dad asked if i "was having feels"
at least he understands my language?

take a bite of my apple?

most recent entries
go | earlier