gala_apples ([info]gala_apples) wrote,
@ 2008-09-03 21:54:00
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now i feel all emo. one of my favourite people on my flist just defriended me with the explanation that she defriended the people she doesn't care about. ouch. it'd be kinda like if i met spider robinson, and he told me to get away from him.

fuck, i'm too sensitive for this shit. now i'm crying. you know how if you have to shout at someone "i am grown up enough" then it clearly means you aren't? well, what does it say if i have to shout "i am a good friend" maybe there's a reason that i only have 2 real life friends. maybe there's a reason that before them, i never kept a friend for longer then a year of school, and absolutely no contact during the summer.

"nobody likes me, everyone hates me, i guess i'll go eat worms" "nobody comments on me, everybody defriends me, i guess i'll go cry" the ultimate in emo.

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[info]drewaline
2008-09-04 03:12 am UTC (link)
:(

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[info]gala_apples
2008-09-05 07:07 pm UTC (link)
*waves hi*

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[info]drewaline
2008-09-06 02:12 am UTC (link)
hey you

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[info]gala_apples
2008-09-07 08:55 am UTC (link)
i know it's hardcore cliche, but it's still true. i couldn't hate someone so much if i didn't love them. no one can hurt you more then the people that supposedly love you. and i definatelty think it's amazing that over 24 hours of awesome fun can be ruined by 5 minutes of assholish behaviour.

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[info]coconut_ice22
2008-09-04 03:43 am UTC (link)
Aw honey, you were so awesome when I met you! And playing cards too! Awesome card player you are!

i never kept a friend for longer then a year of school, and absolutely no contact during the summer. that's so me, perhaps we should start a club! I'm an antisocial bitch who dismisses people just because they don't like Harry Potter, or because they don't know the joy of fandom!love. It lead to some lovely times with the twats I called housemates last year, those fuckers. But it basically reinforced my blief that you shouldn't waste time on those who have none for you. The person who unfriended you obviously didn't deserve to know you, end of story.

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[info]gala_apples
2008-09-05 07:16 pm UTC (link)
i have two best friends now, and i get along fairly well with their dates (though i must admit i do long for the few years it was just the three of us [i need to get a girlfriend, but i don't have enough money to go clubbing, and my particular college course seems very family values straight christian conservative so i can't meet girls at school]) but for awhile there, (and by while i mean from first grade to halfway through tenth grade) i was pretty lonely.

harry potter seems to go not too badly over here. on the first day when the inevitable question from the prof came "how was your summer" i was all *hand raised* I GREYHOUNDED TO CHICAGO! and of course they'd ask why, and i'd be all "I WENT TO A HARRY POTTER CONFERENCE AND STAYED WITH PEOPLE I MET THROUGH THE INTERNET" and they were half 0.0 half that's cool. so i was happy.

not so happy now though, i kind of transfered from another group of people to this group, and everyone's already all cliquey and friends with certain people, and i am friends with no one. *sniffle* i love my vince and jason so much, and i can basically only see them on the weekend.

(oh, and i thought i might warn you now... my comments tend to be really long. :D)

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[info]coconut_ice22
2008-09-05 08:48 pm UTC (link)
Heh, I tend to make scarily long comments too, I rant, a fucking lot of ranting, ranting is like my favourite form of therapy.

Aww, yeah, I miss the years before both of my sisters got boyfriends, who they're now both married too (and I just found out a few hours ago one is now pregnant ¬¬) and it's like AHH! things shouldn't change when they're good, people should stop changing and doing stuff... and then I think back and realise that times that seemed good weren't actually all that glittery, for one reason or another.

I still haven't actually got up the courage to explain to most the people I know why I went to Chicago, and then there's actually the girl I've been friends with longest who doesn't know I went at all. It's made me realise just how selfish she actually is, even when I was talking about it with others around her she hasn't quite clicked on.

Run to your Vince and Jason! Weekends are better than nothing, right?

family values straight christian conservative lots of Republicans? Poor thing! they're... not nice. I like my liberal little part of England, where I hear two guys arguing because they're walking down the street holding hands and one was apparently squeezing too hard. I wanted to run up and squee and hug them for being so adorable, but I thought that would be too much, perhaps, maybe, heh.

Umm, so perhaps that was too much ranting... but then I've been drinking, my apologies. People come and go, the internet shall always be here, and those few people who are amazingly special and will stick around, and to the random people you can leave messages to on LJ who reply, like you did, and allow me the chance to leave replies like this *snicker* the random rambling ones. Er, I'll be quiet now, heh.

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[info]gala_apples
2008-09-07 08:52 am UTC (link)
seriously, like half my journal entries are bitter ranting, and the other half divides into written porn, asking for challenges for porn, and random squeeing.

the city itself isn't very republican (though i'm canadian, so it's actually conservatives on one side (equivlant to republians) liberals in the middle (think mostly middle ground democrat) and NDP on the other side (think extremist democrat/socialist). but my course is early childhood education, ie: day care worker with a childhood development/sociology degree. and somehow that seems to attract the homemaker, anti-abortion, super christian crowd. *shrug* it can make for awkward class discussions, it's like me vs the rest of the class. but i've always been a ballsy one, and i love arguing, so i take them on.

i know kind of what you mean. like 11th and 12 grade were the best years of my life. and at the time i still had all sorts of drama and fights with friends and emoness and crap floating around. but really, it seems better then the stuff we have now. (my opinion is slightly explained on my most recent entry)

i definately don't want you to be quiet. ultimately, i'm just another comment whore, and long conversations like this are better then walks on the beach and sunsets, if you get my reference.

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[info]hpsauce
2008-09-04 09:20 am UTC (link)
oh darling!
*snugglesandhugglesetcetc*
i had a similar experience a couple of years ago (back when i was active on the writing and commenting front) and it hurt like hell. i cried a bit too.
also, i understand your insecurities. for years i thought there was something wrong with me because i found it so hard to make friends - and even harder to keep them. it doesn't mean you're not a good friend.
*squishes*

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[info]gala_apples
2008-09-05 07:31 pm UTC (link)
i have vince and he's always right there and i love him. and then there's jason, who's less huggy and has got more other friends, so while i still consider him a best friend, it's less reliable then vince. and then ross i try to be friends with but it gets difficult, then rachel is cool, but she's sexy and popular and when i'm around her i feel lacking.

i want you to come live with me. i want my kayem.

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[info]_profiterole_
2008-09-04 07:02 pm UTC (link)
*hugs*

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[info]gala_apples
2008-09-05 07:32 pm UTC (link)
thanks *hugs back*

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